the devil inside

INXS song running through my head since I wrote that post title, but isn't it the truth??

EVERY single time something spiritually significant occurs, Satan makes his presence known.  One of the biggest battles of my life was the day I was endowed.  I remember bawling on the phone to Dad early that day, saying I didn't know if I should go through with it.  I didn't know that the struggle was anything but internal, but when he clearly pointed out that Satan was obviously at the root, I knew it was true.

And it alarmed me.  There is NO way I want to hand my agency over to him.

I've felt that same type of struggle this week.  Doing the scripture study and writing each day, I expected floods of spirituality and clarity.  But it hasn't happened.  And it has been spiritually numbing.  But, instead of bearing down and pleading in prayer, I've let these thoughts leak through: "It's not worth it."  "What difference is this going to make anyhow?"  "Things are just fine."  A lack of surety has been planted in my brain, but it isn't what my heart knows to be true....so I know that another battle is brewing.

And it alarms me.  If Satan doesn't want me to continue on this path, I'm definitely headed in the RIGHT direction.

We had a fantastic Sacrament Meeting yesterday.  The speaker shared an analogy.  Imagine you're on a basketball team and the coach explains your strategy.  You are going to use a powerful defense.  No points will be scored by the other team.  Nothing will make its way down the court.  BUT, you're also not going to shoot a single basket.  With that strategy, the outcome can only be a mediocre 0-0 game.  That is NOT winning.  So often our fight against Satan is the same.  We focus on defense.  If he comes onto our turf, we will push him out and not let him take root.  But is that enough?  Or is it only mediocre, at best?  We need to take the initiative to actively fight against him.  My mind has been going over and over that last statement.  What does it mean for me?

What is my offensive strategy against Satan?   

It's not enough to just push him out when he subtly reaches into my mind.  Because what if I'm not paying close enough attention?  What if some of his ugliness makes its way in (and I know it does!)?

So as I study this week, I'll be working on my Offensive Strategy.  It feels vital somehow.  Please let me know if you have any ideas!