I did NOT want to go to the meeting tonight. I have completely failed at doing my daily homework this week. When I called Cyndee this afternoon, I was honestly hoping she'd say she and Tyler were too tired. After all, their house is in post-move chaos still.
But then I saw Megan's newest post. And felt the spirit, and with that a slight change of heart.
Then I went to the meeting. And felt the spirit more, and with that a more complete change of heart.
I'm humbled to realize that I now know I need this program for myself. Further humbled to realize I CAN NOT push through it on my own. I've given up on myself far too often and vitally NEED everyone else's encouragement through blog posts AND the humbling reality of the group meetings each week. Jim & I decided not to go last week so we could visit his dad for Father's day. And with that neglect, I so easily lost my zeal for change. When no one posted this week, part of my commitment dissolved, too.
After Megan's new post and tonight's meeting, I'm back on fire. And so happy to be.
So I am here officially committing to go to every meeting from now on (minus Yellowstone time) and to post on this blog weekly. I truly, truly, truly hope everyone else will do the same. It will soften all of our hearts and help our healing.
I felt so driven to write yesterday afternoon, before nap, before an afternoon movie, now I know why. And I was so so discouraged yesterday that no one was committed to this, that the arp idea was a failure, but then I can't deny the intesity I felt at the beginning that we all participate. But I realized yesterday that while we can support ourselves as a group and encourage one another, this is a personal journey that will not be easy, and that we are the only ones that can do the work for ourselves to see the change come about. So whether we all continue strong through out the whole twelve weeks or not, I've decided that for myself I WILL NOT and CAN NOT quit this program.
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